Conscious Connections
When holding on hurts: How to know when it’s time to let go
There may be countless reasons to walk away. If the job is infuriating, the relationship disappointing, the system not working, the situation unsalvageable… the compulsion to be like Elsa and just ‘let it go’ can feel empowering, healthy, or even necessary. And to be fair, there is absolutely a time to let it go. But we can’t ‘call it’ and quit just because something is hard… because, we can do hard things.
Letting go is not always the most aligned choice, but sometimes it is. The truth is there’s a time to fight and a time to surrender. A time to dig your heels in and stay, and a time to say goodbye. But whether you decide to wage war against the odds or accept the unwanted-but-real reality, both choices have a cost.
If you’re struggling at a crossroads wondering if you should hold on with hope or release with peace… friend, this blog is for you.
The healing power of forgiveness – What forgiveness is, what it's NOT, and why it matters
Forgiveness is arguably one of the most triggering topics, and not just within mental health spheres. In large part, I think the concept of forgiveness is so controversial because the word gets thrown around and misused so much. So, in this blog post, we’re going to define true forgiveness, get honest about why forgiveness is so hard, and talk about why forgiveness is integral to your growth and transformation.
But first… we need to clear the air. Before we explore how forgiveness can play a role in your healing journey, let’s get some crystal-clear disclaimers out on the table…
What forgiveness is NOT
There’s this notion that forgiveness somehow equals relational repair — especially in abusive relationships, traumatic situations, or in environments where there is intense religious or cultural pressure to reconcile. But that’s simply not true. Forgiveness does not automatically translate to trust or reconciliation.
• Forgiveness doesn’t equal access.
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean approval.
• Forgiveness is not a platitude, and ‘forgive and forget’ is not a healthy, catch all solution.
• Forgiveness is not excusing the wrong. Nor is it saying that what happened was ‘okay.’
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean you pretend not to be hurt or that it didn’t happen.
• Forgiveness doesn’t reclassify a serious offense as ‘a mere mistake.’
• Forgiveness is not a get out of jail free card and doesn’t relieve the offender of responsibility.
• Forgiveness is not a feeling.
• Forgiveness is NEVER justification for continued disrespect or abuse.
Forgiveness doesn’t automatically ‘fix’ everything. It doesn’t make the pain go away. It doesn’t shrink the gaping wound that’s now there. But it can create space for your own internal healing and peace.