When it comes to transformation, healing and growth are kindred spirits. It’s impossible to have one without the other. But there is a third part of transformation that often gets overlooked.

Hidden grief.

While growth is worthy of celebration and change can be a very positive thing, it’s normal for there to be intense sadness surrounding what we give up as we evolve. Honestly, this is sometimes why we don’t change. This is why we stay in unhealthy relationships, delay that career change, postpone declaring and living out our truth, or keep forcing a friendship, even as it’s fading away…

Because it hurts to say goodbye to the familiar – even if it is a bit dysfunctional. It’s hard to sacrifice the comfort of an old identity and embrace the authentic reality that’s knocking on the door. And it’s downright painful to give up reliable coping mechanisms and comfort zones we were so attached to, even if they’ve been keeping us stuck.

But what if we held space for both transformation and grief? What if we bring hidden grief out of the shadows and honor it by mourning the loss of what once was (or what never was), even as we continue to pursue alignment?

There comes a point in the healing process where everything changes. Everything.

Absolutely nothing is as it used to be. You’re not like you used to be. And you question everything you thought you knew. In the midst of all the confusion, you begin to realize that the old you – the you who started the healing journey – is no longer who you are today.

Friends… this is often the most painful part of healing.

So, what do you do when you’re no longer a caterpillar, but not yet a butterfly? What do you do when you feel stuck in the transformational middle between death and rebirth? What do you do when everything you are feels like a pile of goo wrapped in a thin, fragile chrysalis and your exposed, sensitive heart is full of uncertainty?

Most humans will muse over existential questions at some point in their life, and while we cannot provide perfectly satisfying answers to these tough questions, we can absolutely search our own hearts, reflect on our personal life experiences, and produce a potential solution to what many call, the ‘problem of pain.’