A quick scroll on social media may lead you to believe that everyone is a narcissist today. But while narcissistic personality traits may abound, only an estimated 1-2% of the population has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Why does this matter?

It’s become way too easy to label your co-worker, boss, ex, or mother-in-law as a narcissist, but pathologizing behavior with labels is not always the best approach. By understanding the difference between the character traits and the disorder, we’re able to respond better with more mindfulness, compassion, and accuracy. We’re also able to know when and how to cautiously lean in with authenticity vs run for the hills.

Unlike NPD, narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum, and it is possible for an individual to exhibit narcissistic characteristics without being a true narcissist. The key here is severity, frequency, and motivation.

For instance, associating a positive self-image with the greater good is a natural part of psychological development – especially for children and adolescents. It’s normal for children and adolescents to have a bit of an inflated self-image and daydream about being superheroes, famous athletes, or inspirational musicians. Even for adults, it’s possible for extremely high self-esteem to be balanced with prosocial behaviors.

Of course, there is a difference between influence and exploitation, but the point is that more often than not, people are not narcissists – they’re emotionally immature or have a victim mindset.

How aware are you of the words you use to describe your life? Do you use harsh or overly critical language when describing aspects of your life? Do you overgeneralize and speak negative, limiting, or, frankly, untrue words to describe your entire life when really, it is just one or two aspects that may be less than ideal? If certain situations or experiences cause your thoughts to spiral into dysregulation, then this blog is for you. This post explores how to shift from anxiety and dread to a more relaxed and empowered state so you can take aligned action toward change.

A victim mindset is a continuous feeling that unsafe forces beyond your influence are controlling your life. Someone with a victim mindset will continuously regard themselves as a victim, even if they are not currently being victimized. Over time, victimization can become a part of someone’s self-identity. If we inspect a little further though, we will discover that a victim mentality is a subconscious function of the Inner Adolescent. Feeling exploited, fooled, controlled, or undermined can understandably lead to intense feelings of doubt and mistrust – feelings which often trigger an Adolescent Chair response.