We all need and want to be accepted and valued, but the way we seek out and receive validation has consequences. For example, if we seek validation from other people through work, social media, or societal norms, the dopamine spike never lasts. We may feel good when others take notice of us, but only for a moment. Then the target shifts again, perpetuating a cycle of striving for the next accolade, the next compliment, the next reassuring sign that we still have value and are acceptable.

Internal vs external validation is a hot topic, and in this blog post, we’re turning up the heat. We’ll be exploring validation through the lens of the Adult Chair framework to understand the Healthy Adult perspective on why internal validation is vital for our conscious well-being.

Maybe you’re the achiever. The one who ‘gets stuff done.’ Or maybe you’re the ‘fun one’ who brings the good vibes. However you arrive, whenever you do show up, you perform. You play your role and hold it together for everyone. You know you look like you’re functioning well, and maybe you’re even successful. But on the inside, things are heavy. Exhausting. And if we’re being perfectly honest? Despite your external demeanor, you may feel downright overwhelmed. 

High-functioning depression and anxiety are often overlooked, not because they aren’t serious (they very much are), but because they don’t fit the image we’ve been taught to recognize as “struggling.” And in a culture that rewards productivity and appearance over emotional truth, many people learn to survive from anything but their Healthy Adult.

Here’s the truth. You can be struggling – seriously, severely struggling – and not look like it at all. It’s called “high-functioning depression and anxiety.” Let’s talk about it…