Knowing that we matter and are loved is a universal human need. And so is individuality. We need both meaningful connections forged from healthy relational bonds and a strong self-identity.

But if we’re honest – and we are always honest here – these two needs can feel contradictory at times. Especially when pop-psychology claims that if you need your friends, you’re ‘codependent,’ and if you’re independent, then you’re ‘emotionally unavailable.’ …right?

Not necessarily. But this circulating myth does beg the question…

What does healthy independence look like within relationships?

Whether we’re pursuing an achievement or seeking healing, it’s normal to want overnight success. We want to see a straight incline, consistently going up, with no drops. We want to take a quantum leap over the messy middle and land right in our ‘glow-up’ era.

But progress isn’t a straight, upward facing arrow, because real-life growth isn’t linear – it’s messy, full of dips and detours.

Progress and healing often feel like one step forward and two steps back, but friend – even the backward steps are part of the dance. If you’re behind-the-scenes reality doesn’t match someone else’s highlight reel, please know… You’re not doing it wrong.

In this blog post, we’re going to explore the true reality of real growth – how we learn, heal, and grow and why so-called ‘set backs’ are not signs of personal failure.