We all need and want to be accepted and valued, but the way we seek out and receive validation has consequences. For example, if we seek validation from other people through work, social media, or societal norms, the dopamine spike never lasts. We may feel good when others take notice of us, but only for a moment. Then the target shifts again, perpetuating a cycle of striving for the next accolade, the next compliment, the next reassuring sign that we still have value and are acceptable.

Internal vs external validation is a hot topic, and in this blog post, we’re turning up the heat. We’ll be exploring validation through the lens of the Adult Chair framework to understand the Healthy Adult perspective on why internal validation is vital for our conscious well-being.

Of all the relational experiences we can go through, betrayal is one of the most severe and painful. Betrayal can shatter our sense of safety, our identity, and our ability to trust our own judgment. And when we’re hurt by the very person we used to go to for comfort, the fallout will be even more complex due to the disorienting push-pull dynamic.

Betrayal doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and it’s so much more than a relational rupture. It’s a catastrophic experience that the nervous system processes as a threat to safety and connection – and for many people, that threat registers as traumatic.